I got to take a little trip to Kansas to spend a little time with my sweetie before he had to deploy to Iraq for his third tour.
The first time he told me he was going, we'd really just started dating. It was so awful. I didn't understand a lot of what deployment meant. I hung out a little bit at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs and got a tiny taste of military life. I wasn't too sure about what I thought of it. He deployed for a year. It seemed like an eternity. He served his time and came home.
The second time he had to go, I'd just had my fifth child...a six pound 14.5 ounce baby boy with Robert. My life had just been turned inside out. My maternal grandmother was dying of lung cancer, I just welcomed this precious little boy into our lives and now I was dealing with Quincy's daddy deploying. I wasn't quite sure I'd manage my very full plate, but by the grace of God, I did. And very well, I might add.
Robert and I ended our relationship and spent a little time apart. After a while, he was on his way (on orders yet again) to Kansas and stopped here on his way through. We spent some time togther with Quincy and had a good time together and made some new memories. We decided we'd give ourselves a fresh start toghether again. It felt good. It felt comfortable. It felt right.
Robert wasn't in Kansas long before his new orders came up. Iraq....again. He called me and told me he was going again. I sighed a deep breath and said..."Okay! We're not new to this. We've done it before and we'll do it again. Whatever has to be done we will just do it and make it work!" It was kind of like that annoying feeling of hitting your knee on the coffee table for the 8th time in a day.
I started dreaming up fun things to send in care packages for him. I vowed to write a letter a day. I promised to display a blue star banner in my window. He didn't ask for these things. I want to do them for Quincy and for myself.
Robert's been there for three days now. The first day wasn't too bad. I missed hearing from him, Sure! The second day was uncomfortable....today has been excruciating. It's so hard to not be able to just pick up the phone to hear his voice...to tell him I love him. To hear him laugh....
I know we'll find a routine. I know that once we find that, the silence won't be so difficult and before we know it, we'll paint our welcome home banner and wave it high for him when he gets home.
Until he's back home safe and sound, please join me in praying for his safety.
